We live in a world of duality good and bad, like and dislike, happy and sad,right and wrong ,the list just goes on .Among all these things, one that feels pleasant is often labelled as something that gives you happiness, and makes you excited. and the ones that sounds/feels unpleasant is labelled as something that makes you sad and suffer. We had always looked into suffering from this “unpleasant” perspective. Basically it’s just been programmed deeply into our minds that suffering is bad, something that is very negative. But it isn’t.
Imagine you’ve lived a life of 100 years. Maybe that number is a rare sight in our times. But just imagine you’ve actually lived a full 100 years. You were born into the richest family, basically with a silver spoon in your mouth. You have got all the luxuries(cars, mansions, etc.,).You are blessed with good health. You had never experienced any pain or struggles in your life. It was more like a cake walk for you.
You had amazing relationships with everyone. Everyone treated you so well. There was no need for you to work as well. Even if you worked ,you made it big. Your entire life i.e., till the day you died, your life was just like this without any suffering. How would you end up like as a person? You might literally be the same one like you were at beginning. You might not have changed at all in terms of character. You wouldn’t grow as a person. When there are no challenges life gets boring at certain point.
In Buddhism, they believe that you should accept suffering as a blessing. Why? Because a human can only grow through these sufferings. Without any pain or challenges thrown at you, how can you change yourself? Pain comes into our lives only to teach us something worthy that we might have been ignoring all our lives. Just think of it, how many have you came across these challenges ,and how they’ve changed you as a person.
But there is a choice in suffering as well. Your growth depends on your choice. Whether you strived to become better or worse. It’s all in that one decision you’ve made in that moment when life challenged you.
We are living in a fast paced environment ,we are so much used to speed and instant stuff, that a slow internet is enough to wreck our minds in 5 seconds. We want everything in matter of seconds with just one or two clicks. We really have lost the patience to wait for situations to unfold at their own pace. It might be success or relationship or money, we want everything in just matter of days .
We run for this success , money, relationships and what not. We hate it when we fall behind others .Thanks to technology, now we are running 24/7. We literally don’t know the meaning of being calm and not getting anxious. We look at someone’s profile and pictures on social media making it big at a very young age and wonder why can’t we be like them. We run our entire lives for fitting into this society, for making it big in the industry that you work for, making money, for being successful in life. Sometimes we even run behind things/people thinking they would give us happiness. We even have this notion that if you’re slow ,then you’re a failure.
Well we rarely understand that everyone has their own pace. It would be foolish if you want everyone to participate in this so called rat race and come in first. There is no prize even if you come in first place. You’re not being given any medal.
Not every individual has same interests. Not every one has same timeline. Someone might be interested in business. Some might be interested in service. Some might be talented in music and some in athletics. There is no saying that goes like if you run faster, you’ll make it bigger in this world. In the end, everyone has to leave the stage called “WORLD”, by dropping dead after their character is finished. Somewhere in this entire running, we have lost the real meaning of life .It is just to LIVE and not to run to achieve some goal. Your entire life wouldn’t go upside down just because you slowed down a bit.
You can only enjoy the process of living ,when you slow down, when you become aware of what you’re doing, by being in the moment.
Take some breaks. Do something that inspires you. Take one step at a time .DON’T RUSH 🙂
Once a man was travelling across the country reached a kingdom named Athulya. There he planned to stay for two days,before continuing his journey. He was looking around the kingdom for a place to stay. Luckily, a kind man offered shelter in his house. The next day , he had seen the villagers gathering along the road to the palace. The king just arrived after winning the battle .The villagers were all in praise of the king. Everyone was hailing the king “Our king is the greatest”,”there is no one like our king”and so on. The man became eager to find out why the people of the kingdom are praising the king so much . So he enquired so many villagers about the king. When he asked the villagers”Why are you praising the king so much?”,the reply from villagers would be “Because HE IS A KING”. And when the man asked”Well, what is so great about your king?”,the villagers replied”THAT HE IS A KING!!!!”.the man then asked”What are the qualities that you love in your king”,the villagers gave the same reply”THAT he is born into a KING’s family” . The man was so surprised by the villagers’ answers. He thought to himself we live in a world of parrot thinkers where no one has a mind of their own. They do what others do.They copy the path that millions of people follow. On the day of his departure ,before leaving he gathered all the villagers and asked a simple question “WHAT is so great about your king that you made him a superior by making yourselves inferior??Think about it” and resumed his journey leaving all of them puzzled.
Moral: Have a mind of your own.Don’t be too blinded that you end up idolizing a bunch of fools.
Don’t you think that we humans suffer a lot because of this idea of holding on ,we inculcated from our childhood. Right from the beginning, we have this misconception about holding onto guilt , love ,emotions and so on. We learnt that if you really love someone, we hold on to them just like possessing them .No matter how suffocating it might be for the other individual and even to us. We just hold on to the ones we love, our past, our mistakes, the list goes on.
We hold on to our past, no matter how much it hurts. We hold on to our mistakes which created a sense of guilt in us over a period making us feel even more miserable. We torture ourselves because of holding onto people or things too much, not realizing that we are creating more pain emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically.
We can only be at peace with ourselves when we learn how to let go when it is time. No matter how much you love a person, if that person is not comfortable in your company , it is better to let them go .An anonymous person said “When you love someone ,you set them free”. Love is not about possessing but giving them the freedom to be themselves, helping them, and sometimes maybe let them go even if it means that you might not be able to see them anymore. The same goes with our mistakes. Every single person in this world had committed mistake at least once in their life. It does not mean you have to bash yourself till the day you die with guilt still buried in your heart. You might ask what if the mistake was too big to forgive yourself. No matter how big a mistake you made, if you sincerely repent and acknowledge it, then you are already forgiven. We need to know how to be compassionate with ourselves. You cannot expect to leave on peacefully with so much guilt in your heart. So, it is better to let go.
The past might have some beautiful memories. But you cannot live in the present if you keep on holding onto your past. The purpose of life is to grow, and you are obstructing that growth by holding onto the past. You can only be in present when you let go of your past, so that you welcome new experiences and adventures. Maybe even building new relationships that help you become a better individual.
It is better to let go of pain by holding on to it rather than live with it.
How many times had we been grateful for what we have in life?It’s very common for most of us to just complain about what we don’t have in our lives than be grateful for what we have.This is more like a habit .Whenever there is something that is lacking in our life,we just go on complaining about it and making it a big issue.
There is a popular saying which goes like we would only know the actual value of things or people when we lose them. We never care about acknowledging them when we have them.If you want to know the value of time, you should listen about it from a person who is going to die soon.If you want to know the value of hunger,you should ask about it to someone who cannot afford buying food.If you want to know the value of family,ask an orphan. If you are not grateful for the education you had ,ask about it to someone whose cannot afford it and thus know the value of it.If you want to know the value of a house,you can look at hundreds of homeless people who know the value of having a shelter above their heads.Only those who don’t have it,know the value of it.
You life maybe ordinary for you,but extraordinary for many. You may think your life has nothing special in it,but it’s a dream for many others.A lot of them can give up anything to have a life like that of yours.But its very seldom that we acknowledge for what we have and feel grateful about it.Never take anything for granted in your life ,cause every day in your life is more than a miracle for many.Be thankful that you have a family to support,a house to live,food to eat,money to spend,and friends to talk to.And a lot of them don’t have access to very basic things .Don’t take anything or anyone for granted.Once you lose the people you love,no matter how hard you try they can never come back into your life.So,wouldn’t it be better to value them while they are still in your life?
Thanks to many movies and dramas that we have seen in our lives,sometimes even fantasy animations(except for a few),which made us romanticize that one person in our life. There would be someone who would suddenly appear in your life from nowhere and would change your life dramatically for the better. We are always made to believe that because of one person we would feel better about our-self ,our life would be happier,we would be happier than before and what not.
To be honest, the only person who could make you feel better is “YOU”. The only person who can change your life is “YOU”. The only person who is responsible for your happiness is “YOU”.The only person who is with you from the day you were born till the day you die is “YOU”. You can be your own best company or even the worst company. Everything in your life depends on how you treat your self. Whether you achieve big things or not ,it depends only on your belief system,not on others.
We get so scared to take responsibility of our own life and our-self,that we all wait for someone to come into our lives and make it better. There is nothing wrong about having that one special person in your life,but when you hate yourself or loathe yourself,no matter how much love and affection you receive from others,it would never be enough.There is no other person who could make you love your-self except for “YOU”.Focus on making yourself a better person.Take matters of your life into your own hands. Treat yourself better.Love yourself,respect yourself.Take care of yourself and see how things change for the best in your life. It all starts with “YOU”.
Have you ever admired someone more than your self?Like every now and then, you dream about sharing your life with that person.Hoping that maybe you would feel complete if that person enters your life.Maybe that person would bring happiness into your life. They would make you happy,they care for you and would never make you cry.I think we all fantasize about having such a person in our life.
What if that person suddenly comes into your life like a miracle!!Let’s say the person you admired the most came into your life. You would be on cloud nine .You think that now your life is gong to change forever. And what if it turns out that the person you admired the most isn’t actually that worthy?We all do such mistakes in life.We admire someone or something without knowing it’s true nature.And when suddenly that person or thing enters your life,about whom you always had high expectations is actually a regular person with lot of flaws just like any other person. What if that person is making you feel more miserable and lonely than ever?It might sound creepy,but that happens!!And what if you always had the dream of having a luxurious car so that you would be happy.But when you actually get that so called expensive car,you might feel happy for a few moments,but not beyond that.You won’t feel anything changed in your life because of that new possession.Maybe you would go after some other car or big villa or accessories or branded clothing. But they all yield the same results like that of your previous car.Cause they can never make you feel happy or content,only you can do that to yourself.No one and no thing can make you feel better except yourself.Learn to enjoy your own company.
We always feel like happiness is something you get from another individual or a materialistic possession.But it’s not!Happiness is your state of mind whether you are in a group of successful individuals or a bunch of losers as the society likes to tag them.Your happiness completely depends on your perception,but never on another person/thing.When you are happy in your own company,there would be no need for you to expect it from others.There would be no need for you to crave for someone’s company that would make you feel better.Cause you already are in a happy place/state of mind. Learn how to be happy irrespective of situations.Learn how to take care of yourself first. Only when you are healthy and happy,you might be able to help/guide others.
It might sound strange like what is forgiving one self. Forgiveness is always something that you never do for yourself.Rather you expect it from others. Whenever we hurt others,we ask them for forgiveness.But what about the hurt you cause yourself?
There are a lot of times in your life, where we do hurt ourselves more than others.We have ridiculous thoughts about destroying our self, we don’t happen to see our worth.There are times when we carry a sense of guilt even without realizing that this particular sense of guilt might bring health issues in future both physical and mental.There are lot of researches that were conducted to study the relationship between guilt and well being of a person.In most of the cases,guilt played the culprit in causing chronic illness in human body.
It doesn’t matter whether the other person forgives you,but you have to forgive yourself first. Because you have to live with none other than your SELF for the rest of your life.It is Ok. It was never your fault. Stop blaming yourself for things that were never in your control. Even if they were in your control,it’s ok,That was the best you can do at that moment.Don’t punish yourself by carrying this sense of guilt.Rather free yourself from it. Promise yourself to do better if a similar situation arises in the future, but don’t succumb yourself to this guilt.
Forgive yourself for treating you badly,under valuing you, for thinking you are the worst and for all that reasons ,that only you knew about. Before asking for forgiveness to another person, seek it from yourself first.And the rest will eventually fall into places.
We might have heard this line about a million times in our lives. But,in the end we still compare ourselves with others. In the end we think it’s all about who makes it big. As a kid , we were compared with the rest of the kids in our school,even in neighborhood regarding who is doing well in studies,sports and so on. And we would feel incredibly bad if we got less grades compared to rest of them .We would feel bad when we didn’t get into a good college,or good MNC.
We would blame ourselves if we are not making that six or seven digit salary.In the end , we all strive to be like others.But you know the irony here, none of us try to be our original selves. We all try to imitate others,try to be a copy of someone. Making it big might be a privilege for some,but losing yourself in the process is more like a tragedy in the end.You should never lose that spark in you that makes you “YOU”.
There might be 7 billion people out there ,but there is only one YOU. You never look at two alphabets and compare them like which one is greater .Is A greater than B or is Z less than Y.Because each alphabet is unique in it’s own way.The same goes with us humans as well. We all are unique in our own way. Someone is good at arts,some might be good at music,some are good at household work.There is nothing big or small about us. No one is our superior and no one is inferior.It all lies in our perspective.So,let’s embrace our uniqueness as we are so we would never let ourselves down by being someone else.
From our childhood,it has been installed in our brains that happiness is something we need to chase after. Happiness was more like an entity,an object you see. They say that if you possess more materialistic stuff ,you will be more happy. If you are famous ,then you’ll be happy.If you are have a luxurious lifestyle,then you’ll be happy.If you earn millions of dollars then you’ll be happy. But is that the actual case?Aren’t we looking at happiness in a wrong perspective. If any of the mentioned things would give us happiness, then why do people who possess all that stuff are still unhappy? Why do they look sad,lost?
Because we all got it wrong.Imagine a situation when you help a stranger or a friend or even an enemy. How would we feel in that situation?Unknowingly we feel a sense of happiness within our heart. We are more happy when we give rather than receive.
Happiness is not a condition. We all look at it like if we have or get something,Then we’ll be happy. If I have a car,than I’ll be happy. You might be happy with the car only for a day or two.Maybe at most a week,but not more than that. After that you’ll be back to your routine thing.If you possess million dollars,then I’ll be happy. Even in this scenario, you’d feel more empty than happy.Cause at the end of the day it’s just a piece of paper which is only useful when you are buying stuff .So, we all are chasing after happiness. But very few know that the more you chase after happiness,the more you lose it. Cause happiness is not some”thing” that you go after.It is inside each and everyone of us.Maybe it is just a matter of choice.
We can be happy even when we have nothing and we can be unhappy even when we possess everything in this world.It just depends on us. A matter of choice. Happiness is never a destination ,that when you reach you will be delighted by its sight. But it’s more of an journey on a daily basis.The more you look into it,the more you understand it.And the more you understand it,the more you are one with it.Happiness is more of an inside treasure than an outside chase.